I am under no misconception that I am the kind of person who sticks with regimens. I do not run every day, 365 days a year, I often forget to take my daily vitamin, and I have yet to create a blog I can stick with.
Maybe that's okay.
As a kid, I received a journal/diary nearly every birthday or Christmas. First of all, thank goodness I've moved past the age where distant aunts and family friends think that a 12 year old needs a new journal every year. I'd rather take the other typical pre-teen gift: Bath and Body Works lotion. At least I could actually put that to good use!
When I would receive a journal, there was a part of me that tried to be really thankful- my mama taught me well. Plus, I am a decent actress and an excellent liar (probably shouldn't brag about that), so I had no problem convincing the gift giver, and myself, that I could not wait to open the leather book, adorned with sometime of inspirational saying (I'm sure it always said something about stars) and scribble away on the gold lined pages. Ah, how many goals I would make in that first entry! I mustered the same amount of enthusiasm one does on the first day of school. But in due time, I would slip writing, stop studying for tests, and promise to return to it tomorrow and then feel guilty when I didn't and give up all together.
This pattern continued, even when I started blogging. I guess I am consistent. Consistently inconsistent must account for something. But, I still feel guilty about it. The same guilt you get when you skip a work-out you promised yourself you'd do, or the thank-you card you were going to write. And then I convince myself I'm the worst person in the world for not sticking with something. I can hear them upgrading me to a luxury suite in Hell. My mind works in mysterious ways. And even though I get tired of whatever journal or blog I've created, I eventually want to try again. It's like returning to spinach salad after you need a break of those deliciously evil french fries.
So, this time around I'm creating a new mindset. Reframing the situation, as we say in counseling. Yes, it's cost me $20,000 to make me feel better about not blogging. Next I'll get a degree in finance so I can learn to not spend money.
Maybe this will be the only piece of writing I ever have on this blog. Maybe I won't come back here for another three weeks...so what?!
Perhaps I'm busy doing really awesome things. Like training for a marathon, taking singing lessons, saving all the children of Africa, writing a novel, planning a trip to Southeast Asia.
Ok, maybe not those things, but I can guarantee I will be running, savoring the smiles of the 7 month old I take care of, baking muffins, cuddling with my man, going to see best friends in Boise, reading a good book and watching Fashion Police (my addiction cannot be stopped). You can also I assume I'll be pissing around on facebook somewhere in there, too.
I will stop feeling guilty for not sticking to some crazy regimen I created, simply because I am living life.
I just finished a book called Drop Dead Healthy (I will blog about that soon, maybe?) and the writer spent 2 years trying to become the healthiest person alive. Of all the crazy steps he took to do so, one of the biggest lessons was learning to avoid the unhealthy level of stress humans seem to be so fond of. This is a lesson I took away from the book, too. (That, and the raw food diet can make you delusional) Don't punish yourself for living, people. This is the only life you've got.
But, don't take my word for it. I'm just a ginger, and as the saying goes, Gingers don't have Souls.
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